The Beautiful Paradox

Subject: guys….

From: xxxxxxxxxx@live.com

only a few people have turned in their stuff to me, and the show is tomorrow.
hope everyones ready, cuz otherwise we’re all f*cked.

Dear Mr. Whitlock,

Many people look up to you in your expertise as a sports columnist. We respect, in fact, the journalist and overall influential man of your stature willing to stay in the Kansas City area. We thank you Mr. Whitlock. You have indeed spiced up the Kansas City Star’s sport section since your arrival in 1994.

Now, the controversy over Rush Limbaugh’s involvement in being a prospective purchaser of the St. Louis Rams is well known. Limbaugh’s history as a media jester with a masters in racial divisiveness and a Ph.D in fibbing, put him under a, shall we say, negative light in regards to his ambitions.

Last week you were clearly against the chance of Limbaugh being able to have a bid in the Rams. Last week in your firm rejection you quoted Rush Limbaugh with this:

• “You know who deserves a posthumous Medal of Honor? James Earl Ray(Dr. King’s assassin). We miss you, James. Godspeed.”

• “Let’s face it, we didn’t have slavery in this country for over 100 years because it was a bad thing. Quite the opposite: Slavery built the South. I’m not saying we should bring it back. I’m just saying it had its merits. For one thing, the streets were safer after dark.”

It’s pretty universal that these statements from Limbaugh are unbelievably uncouth and utterly, undeniably racist.

On occasion, we as humans who are trained in specific areas of expertise, shall we say, attempt to delve out into different fields of study. A man of such exquisite and unparalleled erudition such as yourself should, after all, be able to wondrously digress into fields such as music, sociology and activism without problem right?

We see that nothing has stopped you from doing exactly that. We’ve read your dry, boring and uninspiring pieces on Tech N9ne - Kansas City’s independent music phenom. We’ve read your redundant friendly-favor of a review written for Krizz Kaliko which unfortunately became the perfect sedative. We’ve also read your bourgeoisie account of your experience at the Power & Light District - a reflection of your true character. Finally, we’ve experienced your unfortunate rants about how Rap music has influenced our young athletes.

Mr. Whitlock, you’re a bright man. You’ve had numerous cover stories, been featured on Oprah and have become America’s authority on sports, but shall we go ahead and push forward the idea that you flat out suck at writing about anything except sports?

Your contradictory views on politics, racism and music are utterly embarrassing. Not only for you but for the Star and for Kansas City. Have you truly been a long time “admirer of [Limbaugh’s] broadcasting skills.” Have we forgotten here that a like-minded individual such as Hitler was also master orator? Does one praise him for that attribute? No, they chasten and damn him for his abuse of that skill.

Such a shame that a prominent black man who gets kicked out of the Power & Light District would apologize for pointing out mere quotes from a man who is a stone-cold racist. Mr. Whitlock, those were mere quotes! Not some nebulous percept. Not some mean spirited personal statement. They were QUOTES! How were those quotes not fair to Limbaugh? He said them, ha!

Your slave mentality is unfortunate and your confusion must be addressed.

But we know your type. You’re the Bill Cosby of sports. One who’s level of well “deserved” superiority has undermined his ability to have a sociological perspective. One who’s opinion outside of his field of expertise is laughable yet feels the need to speak because they CAN speak. We know your type. The Neo-Uncle Tom who’s conflicted soul vacillates them between a down home ‘brotha’ and a borderline Klan lobbyist. We know your type. You’re the type of man who will willfully address racial issues from the heavens instead of understanding the factions of the trenches. You will defend the hustler on Armour and Troost - siting various reasons for his agenda - but you’ll go home to your Johnson County home to hobnob with the gentry. Mr. Whitlock, you’re in too many pots - literally.

You’re out of touch, sir and we’re sick of it. You have no place in sociology. What makes you an expert on social issues? What gives you the authority to speak on such things? Let’s spell it out: N-O-T-H-I-N-G. You’re a man of great words, please sound that one out.

By the way, you are not URBAN. You are also not an activist. Stop acting as though you are. Oh and your little excursion to Jena was cute but life is, unfortunately, not a class project. Because you have no concrete evidence of sociological legitimacy, you’re accounts are about as relevant (and endearing) as a high-schooler doing the same.

Finally, Mr. Whitlock, you are the flat out (!), quintessential paragon of a punk. You will go down in history as the man who tried to be a social critic that apologized to the right-winged jester for a mere citation.

That is your legacy, Mr. Whitlock. I strongly urge you to take another glance at your resume instead of your mirror. Sit down, big guy — if ground shaking is what you’re after, doing so will surely do the trick.

Respectfully,

Kemet “thePhantom*” Coleman-